Saturday, December 4, 2010

crazy thoughts

I was just sitting here in my kitchen, checking my emails and I glanced over at my three little munchkins. All in their PJ's, snacking on Cheerios, watching a cartoon and all giggling, and I just felt so happy. We have a nice little family! When I was growing up or a teen I would've never imagined my life the way it is now. I don't know what I imagined actually, I knew I wanted a family...but couldn't imagine how it would all work out.

And now here I am, 30 YEARS OLD (AAAHHH), Married to my handsome and amazing hubby, 3beautiful kids... AND ANOTHER ONE COMING IN FOUR MONTHS!!!!
I forget all day long that I'm prego, I think my brain is too busy sometimes. I don't limit myself when I should( how can you when your shakin it in ZUMBA?) and I forget to take my prenatal pills just about every other day. I don't want to forget or make it any less important then when I was pregnant with Job, but, I haven't taken any pics of my belly, I haven't kept a pregnancy calender, and I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW MANY WEEKS I AM (It's around 20 I'm sure) But then I go to get dressed and can't zip up my jeans, or Maggie will push on my tummy and yell "HELLO BABY", or people will give me a second look when I'm out with the kids, and then it hits me! I'm having a baby! I get the same excited feeling again, as if it's my first. I get all giggly and I start to let my imagination run wild. will it be another wild boy for the boys to argue, wrestle, and fight with? Or another sweet girl for Maggie to love and cuddle, and watch Dora with(that's what she is looking forward to). Which name will we be able to use? We've had the girls name since before Job was born, and the boys name we've had since before Maggie was born. I love them both!!!!!!! It's almost worth having twins just so we can use both! (don't worry, we checked, only one baby is in there).

Anyway, these are the ramblings of my brain. My point is that I AM excited! I AM waiting with such anticipation and joy for this new little tiny one to enter our family. I AM overwhelmed but, it's a good overwhelmed. In the time it's taken to write this I've taken Maggie to the potty 3 times, made everyone a tortilla to snack on, got 2/3 kids dressed, broken up 3-4 arguments about where they are sitting and explained that they need to love eachother and not hurt eachother, told Job to stop making this annoying squeal of his about 10 times, given Diego a high five for going poo poos in the potty, cleaned up where he missed the potty when he peed, outlined Maggie's hands and feet on paper, glanced at my fingers and toes in desperate need of new polish, still haven't brushed my hair after my shower, and I know I really need to start breakfast. Overwhelemed? totally, but i love it. People can say, "you've got your hands full" and "I don't know how you do it" and "what? another baby?" all day long and it will never make me regret or want to change a single thing!

I CAN"T WAIT to Hear "It's a girl!" or "It's a boy!" and cry because either way I'll be happy. And to smell that new baby smell on the back of the baby's ears, stare at the baby's toes and fingers and just be awe of GOD's blessings on my life, introduce the baby to the kids and see their reactions. It is a blessing! Do you believe that? Do you think it's not financially smart? Do you think 6 people in a 3 bed/1 bath house is too much? Do you think it's not fair for my 3 kids already...that they wont get enough attention? Funny enough, people have voiced these opinions to me! And I just smile and say, "We will be OK" or, "Yep, it'll be challenging" but, I have no idea what God has in store for us. He will help guide our path and show us the decisions he'd like us to make.
Even though I feel insecure and unsure sometimes I know that it will work out in the end, even if I have to learn a big lesson through it all.

I look forward to the future, see them grow up and play together, hang out together, and send each other off into the world. How can I not be excited? there's so much in store for us!!!!
Plus, I want to see how stinkin cute this one will be... so far we've had some good luck with some Gorgeous kids!! ;)